


As Stubborn as We Are

by orphan_account



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Antisocial Personality Disorder, Background Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders is a Sweetheart, Established Relationship, Healthy Relationships, Human, Impulsive Behavior, Impulsiveness, Low/No Empathy, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mild Language, Morality | Patton Sanders Tries, Morally Neutral Morality | Patton Sanders, Neurodiversity, Personality Disorders, Self-Destruction, Self-Indulgent, Sympathetic Sides (Sanders Sides), Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, we will make all the sides cluster b and none of you can stop us
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:42:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27314257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “...I have no idea what you’re talking about.”“Your new account,” Remus says, nodding towards the phone in the other’s hands. “Where is it?”Patton feels his anxiety spike, suddenly feeling light-headed. Looking away, he says, a little faint and a little too sweet, “I wasn’t aware I needed a new one.”“So your social media disappearing again just happened to slip your mind?”Patton bites his tongue, gaze stubbornly fixed on the half-written messages he’s one second away from erasing.Ah. Right. That.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Kudos: 43





	As Stubborn as We Are

“…So, where is it?”

Patton glances up from his phone, cursor blinking and message half-finished, his eyes meeting the infuriatingly-all-knowing gaze of his boyfriend, who lingers in his bedroom doorway. Remus, for his part, doesn’t look the least bit accusatory; if anything, he looks amused, just a touch exasperated, his mouth curled into a smirk and eyebrow quirked questioningly, his arms crossed over his chest as he waits for an answer.

Patton looks back to his phone, a forced, nervous smile on his face, tapping idly at the buttons. He wracks his brain for an answer—finding none—before settling on, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Your new account,” Remus says, nodding towards the phone in the other’s hands. “Where is it?”

Patton feels his anxiety spike, suddenly feeling light-headed. Looking away, he says, a little faint and a little too sweet, “I wasn’t aware I needed a new one.”

“So your social media disappearing again just happened to slip your mind?”

Patton bites his tongue, gaze stubbornly fixed on the half-written messages he’s one second away from erasing.

Ah. Right. That.

“I thought you took a break from all that?” he tries, still not looking the other in the eye. “Therapist’s orders, and all that.”

“I did,” Remus says, matter-of-fact, plopping down on the bed next to him and curling up against him, arms wrapped around the other’s waist and cheek resting against his thigh. “Though, a certain mutual friend of ours _does_ still use the web, and just so happened to see you’d dropped off the face of the earth earlier today.”

“Traitor,” Patton grumbles. With a sigh, he shuts his phone off, setting it aside on the bedside table and asking, “Which one was it?”

Remus hesitates. “Well…I do think, if this were a courtroom situation, I’d have to plead the fifth, so, uh—”

“It was Janus, wasn’t it?”

“I can say, with absolute certainty, that it may or may not have been him, possibly.”

“Are you wording it like that to try and protect him?” Patton asks, deadpan, absently running his fingers through Remus’ hair. What remains of his usually-cheery, carefree mask falls away, leaving nothing but exhaustion in its absence.

His boyfriend chuckles, unfazed, shoving his hand away, “Oh, please, like as if he needs protecting from _you_.”

Patton chooses to ignore the way that comment sparks his anger, a low hum escaping him. He untangles his fingers, pulling back. “If you knew better, you wouldn’t say that. I can be scary when I need to be.”

Remus blinks at him. “…Wait, are you being serious, or—”

“Joke,” Patton swats at him lightly, earning another laugh. He hesitates, gaze falling back on his phone. “Is he worried?”

Remus hums, messing with a stray thread of Patton’s sweater. He shrugs. “Probably. He mentioned something about how bad off you were the last time it happened.”

Patton considers this, frowning. “I forgot Janus and I have only been friends for a few months,” he admits, tapping idly on his knee.

“Yeah, me too. I mean, I’m used to you moving accounts, like, every three days.”

“And your patience continues to surprise me,” Patton tells him, poking at the other’s forehead. “Most people pack it up and leave after the first few rounds.”

“Bold of you to assume I fall under ‘most people.’”

Patton hums. He decides it best not to argue that point. Instead, picking at his nails, he asks him, tone flat, “What’d you tell him?”

His boyfriend shrugs. “Just the truth. I mean, I tried to tell him that it was normal, but he still wanted me to check on you.” Remus pauses, bunching up the bedsheets and avoiding eye contact. “…And to know how to keep in touch.”

Patton fights back the urge to roll his eyes. “Wow,” he mutters, “I’m shocked. And here I was, thinking he wasn’t one for attachment.”

“Y’know, most people worry when someone they care about disappears out of the blue.”

“Sounds fake.”

“ _Patton_ —”

“I know,” Now he does roll his eyes and groan, pushing the other away and pressing his back against the headframe, “I _know_. Christ, Remus, I don’t need a fucking _lecture_ , okay? You know I’m working on it.”

“I wasn’t going to lecture you,” Remus frowns, tucking his arms underneath his chin. “I know better than anyone that being lectured when I’m being self-destructive doesn’t help any. And like I said, I’ve been around long enough—I mean, shit, Pat, do you really think we’d still be dating after all these years if I didn’t at least _try_ to understand where you’re coming from?”

Patton stares, messing with his sleeve. He doesn’t respond, shoving his angry, burning thoughts so far down into his throat it chokes him—because he knows more than anyone that if he’s not careful he could very well prove Remus wrong and push away the only person in his life who he’s managed to tolerate and at the very least grow affectionate for.

And it wouldn’t exactly do him much good right now to end up alone. He’s impulsive, not _stupid_.

“…So,” Remus interrupts his train of thought, resting his chin in his hand, “I guess the million-dollar question is: what do you want me to say to him?”

He hesitates, smoothing out the front of his sweater. Conflicting thoughts blur together, _drop him_ mixing with _keep him_ to the point it’s almost enough to make him want to scream. Especially because _both_ options are appealing; it’s not like he’s been friends with Janus long enough for there to be any repercussions, and even if there _had_ been, it wouldn’t take much to avoid him and let the man move on with his life. But Janus also falls into a similar boat that Remus does; he’s more tolerable than most, entertaining, and though Patton doesn’t care either way for him right now, he probably would, so long as the man in question didn’t pull any one-eighties anytime soon. As much as he hates to admit it, it is a debate, if only for a moment.

But he knows, looking at Remus’ face, that if he wants to get out of this situation with nothing more than a headache, there isn’t much of a debate to be had. He has to play his cards right, and with Remus, those cards are both ridiculously easy to win with and unbelievably frustrating during moments when all he wants to do is isolate himself and forget that the rest of humanity exists.

“You can give the new account to him,” Patton decides, shoulders sagging. Remus wiggles, prompting him to go on, voice firm, “But _only_ that.”

“You still haven’t told me what it is,” Remus points out, smile playing on his lips.

“Depends on which one you want.”

“…Which _one_?”

Patton rolls his eyes. “You _do_ realize I’ve already made three separate accounts and they’re all completely different presentations of me, right?”

Remus blinks, considering this. “…Which one is the one you use for Janus?”

Patton narrows his eyes, frown worsening. “You accepted that fact awfully quick,” he points out, tone flat.

Remus stares at him, waiting, infuriatingly patient as always.

Barely suppressing a scream, reaching over to retrieve his phone, he says, unlocking it, “Alright, _fine_ —but just so you know, this is _not_ an invitation for you to come back online. I won’t give your therapist a reason to think I’m a bad influence on you.”

Remus practically glows with how brightly he smiles, wiggling as he moves over to sit beside him, glancing over his shoulder as Patton pulls up the blog in question and pulling out his own phone to transfer the information along.

And if, later on, Patton gets two notifications in his inbox, one from Janus and one from Remus—well, he doesn’t mention it. Partially because he knows it won’t get him anywhere and partially because he knows that the same cycle will repeat itself by the end of next week, anyway.

(He just wonders if Janus is going to become just as stubborn as Remus is when it comes to sticking around.)

(He finds that he doesn’t really care either way about it.)

**Author's Note:**

> guess who's dumbass impulsively deleted our tumblr again? <3
> 
> guess who's Also having more mental health problems bc professionals continue to ignore us & won't address the more serious symptoms we're having (or outright making our symptoms worse)? <3
> 
> anyways, being undiagnosed is fun (/s), have some cluster b patton & us projecting/venting.


End file.
